DOG ETIQUETTE

Imagine, for the sake of illustration, that we humans live on another planet under the care and patronage of an advanced race of beings. The other humans I’ve met here and I are very content with this arrangement, for the most part.  These beings who care for us and love us, who see to it that we are fed and sheltered are so good that our chief joy is in pleasing them.  Sometimes it seems to me that they like us humans better than they like others of their own kind.  Maybe they know too much about each other.

These beings who care for us are silent.  They communicate without any spoken or gestured language, evidently with a direct transfer of thought and emotion.  I can’t be sure of this, of course, since I cannot communicate with my being.  He can communicate a little with me, however.  When I please him he beams this warmth and pleasure at me.  And when I displease him that wonderful feeling is simply gone, and a sort of cold emptiness is there instead.  It’s hard to describe, but very real.

I said that we humans are content for the most part.  But we are still humans after all, and we like to have the company of our own kind some of the time.  Our caretakers are aware of this and frequently make arrangements for us to be with other humans.  There are special places they take us where we can meet other humans.  But these beings don’t like the way we humans communicate.  The noises we make, our talking, is distasteful, even disgusting to them.  When we try to talk, just a few words to exchange names, maybe tell each other where we were from on earth, the beings are embarrassed and try to separate us so we can’t talk. And I feel that coldness of disapproval from my being.

I wonder sometimes why they can’t understand how important our way of communicating is to us.  What does it hurt them, after all, if we make our noises that are the only way we have to know each other?  Couldn’t they just wear ear plugs if the noises are so disgusting to them?

This is what we do to our dogs. What we term “private parts” are public parts for dogs.They know and are known by sniffing each other’s butts and sharing spots of urine to smell.  Their friendly greetings, their smiles and handshakes and how-are-yous are embarrassing to us and we try to prevent them from happening.  But what does it hurt us after all if some detailed butt sniffing takes place?  Why not just turn away and look somewhere else? 

 Amber and boxers being polite